When did you become like this?

When did I become like this? Who told me to become like this? I feel like I'm falling into a pit of darkness. No one can help me, nobody can hear me, and nobody would try to find me. I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless and numb.

A simple phone call. That's my only duty as a responsible human being. BUT NO. Why do I have to be such an idiot. Not even a text. Nothing. And that scumbag iPhone of mine likes to turn itself off even if it still has 70% of battery left. And it picked this specific day to be like that. Why. Why me. Why now.

When did I become like this.

When did I start becoming so distant. When did I start shutting myself off to everyone around me. Why did I become like this.

I'm only a child. And somehow, a part of me refuses to believe so. All I've been wanting was to become successful. All I've been worrying about is myself and how I could get out of here.

When did I become like this.

When did I start not caring about anybody else other than myself. When did I become so selfish. Why did I become like this.

My mother thinks she's an insignificant entity. It's all because of me, the person who she now thinks is a failure, a disappointment, a useless, and an irresponsible being.

When did I become like this.

I'm so afraid of myself.

Why did I become like this.

I don't know what else to do.

The last person I can lean on, which is my mom, has now turned her back on me.

The last person whom I thought would never abandon me, already left me in the dark, all alone, left to fend for myself.

I can't do this without her. I can't do this without Him.

When did I become like this.

Why did I become like this.

I don't know how to get out of here.

I just want to go away, but at the same time I want to stay.

Ever since he came back.. Ever since he came back. I know I wasn't the same.

Ever since he came back, all I ever wanted to do was go away.

Ever since he came back, life became much easier, and much harder at the same time.

Ever since he came back, I didn't know what to do.

I taught myself to hide and keep my thoughts to myself, not bothering to let anyone in.

And now this is what I get.

You think you know everything.

You think you can handle everything.

You just can't. You're weak. Stop pretending to be so strong. You can't do this on your own.

You're so afraid of becoming the bad person when you've actually started being one.

When did you become like this. Why did you become like this.

You forget to say things like "thank you" and "I love you" to the most important people in your life.

Stop trying to grow up and just live in the present.

Know what you have to do and do it.

And now you've become irresponsible. You've taken everything for granted. Life is just paying you back a thousand times.

You're a disappointment.

You're worthless.

You're different.

When did you become like this. Why did you become like this.

When did I become like this.

Why did I become like this.