Reasons, Excuses, Whatever.

Call it whatever you want.

A little background:

My mom asked me the other day if I was happy with my life. I looked at her, wondering if I should tell her the truth. Then suddenly, the most pathetic answer slipped its way out of my mouth. "Well, I'm happy in the sense that I'm not unfortunate." WOW Junessa. If I were to re-do that, I probably wouldn't have said anything instead. Just to give her a hint that I'm definitely not happy. I'm a miserable bitch right here, cooped up in her room, listening to music through her noise-reduction headphones because her fucking earphones are nowhere to be found.

This ain't a charity showcase. "Hell no, your dad's rich right?" Common misconception, children. HE'S rich, not me. LOL. You guys ever heard of Scrooge? Yeah I thought so.

The internet has always been a form of escape for me. It's the wall that I build to protect myself from reality. It's another world that I can easily create with a few clicks, and I can easily destroy it in seconds. It's a risky life to handle because wars can also happen here; but who cares. Nobody actually cares. As long as people mind their own business. Just like in real life. (at least my generation doesn't give a fuck about whatever I say)

I'm currently living alone with the two most psychotic & bipolar creatures on this planet. I've been abandoned in this war zone, left to fend for myself against those two. It's as if a fucking zombie apocalypse happens everyday the second they violently barge into my room without any warning just to piss me off about something.

You can never reason out with people like them because they will always think they're right. Like zombies, really. They just want human flesh. And being the good parents that they are, they just "want what's best for me" and "they're just worried about me". End result? Me, eating my own shit in front of them, while forcing myself to smile and say "OH MY GOD THIS TASTES JUST LIKE CHOCOLATE".

And therefore, I seek refuge here on the internet. People may silently judge me behind their laptop screens. I prefer that (yeah for now) because at least I can listen to silence, the sound of keys being murdered on the keyboard, and possibly Coldplay. And for a moment, I won't hear my mother's nagging, nor my dad's broken record about his "climb to success".

Now, what would I do if they see this? I'd probably kill myself of course.

The internet is the safest, and not the safest place for me, actually. If I just talk to anyone about this, well, it wouldn't be as therapeutic. And besides, my folks aren't unique beings. I'm pretty sure someone else is suffering just like me. Maybe that's just me being desperate, but I wouldn't really know.

SO, if you're with me on this, join me as we stand up against the most bipolar creatures in our lives. They're both the villains and our allies in this universe. All we have to do is plaster a smile on our faces and say "YES" all the time.

Because the moment you say no, you better start running, you idiot. Nobody says no to those creatures.