Opposites

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The night becomes her disguise. It becomes a part of her.
She becomes a shadow that nobody can see.

It is a blanket that covers and protects her.
It is where she hides and becomes a different person.

At night, when no light is present, she is stronger, but completely helpless at the same time.
For that time, is the only time she gives in, and allows the darkness to swallow her.

She is brave, but frightened.
Honest, but full of lies.
Conscious, but totally oblivious to the truth.

She fears what she has become, but proud that she has come this far.
"This is a new person," she says, "but it's still me, and I'm still alive."

"Hello," says a voice.

"You are not me, but I, am you."

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My cheesy goals once school starts (for me)

Being the only one who isn't attending school at the moment, I spend most of my time at home, on the internet, doing nothing.

So yeah, everyone knows how my life goes by every second of every day through my Facebook statuses, or my occasional tweets.

A lot of people (actually just two of my friends) asked me why I haven't been blogging lately. Well, blogging is something that I only do when I'm "inspired". Just like art. But it just so happens, that 5 minutes ago, I thought of something I could write about.

My cheesy goals once school starts (for me):

1. Save more money: Being the "gastadora" that I am, this is very hard. VERY. Hard. When I say "very hard", it just is. I'm sure it's hard for everyone, but for me.. It's just very hard. Yeah I know I've said that only a bajillion times but it really is.

2. Shoot more in film: This pretty much opposes my first goal because shooting in film means more expenses in developing and buying more film. But, who could resist? Film is beautiful.

3. Get my hair colored: In pink. Just an ombre for now, but.. I really wanna get my whole head colored (even my face loljk corny). This goes against my first goal as well, but.. Like I said, I'm a "gastadora". At least I save up for my own shit -__- Lol I don't really like asking money from my folks unless I really need it for school and I'm bat-shit broke.

4. Remind myself to save more money: Just because.

5. Be more passionate: towards everything I do. If there's no passion, there's no motivation. Hence, I will fail in life and I will end up becoming that stripper who makes friendship bracelets.

6. Lessen the BV (Bitch Vibes): Because I will never get any friends if I keep acting like the bitch that I really am. Well, I'm not saying I should stop being myself, but.. Who the fuck would like a person who's a total bitch 24/7? ACTUALLY, I'm not a 24/7-bitch but.. I can be. Oh look, there she is.

*Clarification to goal #6: I just have to tolerate annoying and stupid people more. It's inevitable to not come across people whose personalities I don't like/don't mesh well with, so.. I just have to act more cool and calm. Yes. But when the situation calls for the "BV", I'd be happy to unleash it.

7. Smile more: As my mom would always tell me, "ang taray ng itsura mo." I still don't get this because if there's no reason to smile, why would I? I don't want to look like a nut head. Nevertheless, I will try.

8. Concentrate: As you all know (not that I'm assuming that ya'll know who I am), I've graduated from an all-girls high school and I've attended a year in an all-girls college too. I'm pretty much oblivious to the feeling of seeing boys every day. So I think this goal (or rather, an obligation) is needed. BUT it's not like you have to tie me to a post to prevent me from jumping on some random guy, but, you get my point. Hopefully. I'm not that desperate ;__;

9. "Study hard, party harder": True. I doubt the partying part though, because I'm not really a fan of getting drunk in "foreign" places.

10. Don't forget where you came from: College opens new doors. You meet new people who come from different places, and people who just happen to know "everybody". I don't want to assume my future because that might totally jinx everything, but let's say I do meet someone who opens "the door to my future". It's not really a goal, but I promise to stay humble and remember where I came from. Lol I'm not going to be like a total bitch-snob who acts all high and mighty after getting the spotlight. Nor am I going to be that sad excuse for a friend who completely forgets the existence of her old, and truer mates back in high school.

So, yeah. As shallow as those goals may be, they mean a lot to me. I'm not going to be someone else once I "officially" start college. I'm going to be someone who I truly am. No more bullshit, just me.

All of the shit I went through just to get into universities have finally paid off. Things do happen for a reason. It's too soon to tell because I haven't even started, but, I feel like I'm going to have a more positive outlook in life. Lol. Hangdrama lang.

Despite the MRT/LRT life I have to face soon, which, I might add, IS A COMPLETE BITCH, I am still grateful for that because I can have a sense of independence, though it can be a little life-threatening.

Here's to a fresh start.

PS: Pustahan tayo, someone's going to piss me off during the first day of the 2nd trimester.