Realizations

I'm tired of everything. So tired, I feel like I'm starting to not give a fuck. I don't know if that's better or not, but I'm not usually like this. I do tend to care a lot. But now, I'm used to all the bullshit happening in my life. Haha. Try to surprise me with something new--something that would actually ruin my day, something that would actually make me laugh and gasp for air, or something that would just make me feel okay.

I want to feel.
I want to feel the surge of life in me. Anything.
I just want to wake up.

Non-stop shit happening back at home, all the drama happening here in school.. I guess I'm just learning to move on. I'll just think of it as me, finally knowing my priorities as a college student.

I just want to bury myself with schoolwork. But at the same time, I don't want to feel detached from the outside world. HAHA you wish, Junessa. True, that would be hard.

I don't know why I'm like this. My head's just clouded with a bajillion things, to the point where I don't even know where to begin anymore. Worst part is, I don't know how everything's going to end.

A couple of days ago, I completely lost myself. Maybe that's why. I don't know where to pick myself up. All I can say is, that was so not me. I did need a break, and it was fun. But still, that wasn't me.

So okay, I was just randomly typing everything when I began to realize things. There. I feel... Depressed. About myself, life, people. Ugh. I need to snap out of this. It's making me feel dead.