Just a quick thought before I go upstairs to sleep.

To sum it all up, when I think about all the things that happened in the last 5 months of my non-productive life, I was so unhappy.

I'm not sure if I even sunk into depression.

There were times when I took it all out on myself, thinking that everything was my fault, thinking I had to fix everything, thinking everything was all on me.

Up to now, I'm still pretty affected. But one thing's for sure, I'm afraid to go back to the way I was a few months ago.

I hope being here (in the dorm), and being in college (in general) would help me cope with this "situation".

Maybe I'm still being pretty selfish because all I ever worried about was how I thought I should be the one who needs to fix things. Is that "selfish"?

I don't know.

I do tend to over-analyze things, so.. Yeah.

It's kind of hard to be here though, because I can't talk to anyone who "knows" what's happening. The 3-minute phone calls are too much of a hassle, cellphone bills get pretty nasty, and the internet likes being bipolar as well.

It's all so foreign. I'm still adjusting.

P.S. The environment here is making my skin break out T__T UHUHUHUHU IT'S SO ANNOYING.