Silence is Expensive

That particular line struck me the most during my 4th year high school retreat.

It can literally mean that you have to pay for the luxury of peace nowadays.

Or it could just mean that the value of silence has gone up because, well, who has a quiet life these days?

I keep being woken up from silence. And yet, I thought I've successfully tried to stay away from people who kept disturbing my peace. As a matter of fact, I haven't been bothering them for ages, but they come back, again and again.

What have I done to deserve this? You all have gotten your revenge on me already. Multiple times, even. Please respect my solitude, as I have tolerated your choice to practically ruin my reputation to everyone who doesn't even know me.

What do you want from me? I just don't want all that drama anymore. I'm begging you all to shut your mouths and get on with your lives. Don't drag me down with you because it's been so hard to stay afloat after everything that happened for the past few years.

I may not have been the best person you have met/encountered, but if you have any sense of self preservation, you guys should have gotten over this about a year ago.

I know I did you wrong, and I know I've hurt you real bad. Will it make you feel better if you kept on doing this? If you kept on telling everyone that "I was that girl who couldn't make up her mind"? Or worse, I was "that slut"? WILL IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?

I'm begging you to stop. Please. Stop spreading the story as if it was nothing. As if we were nothing.

The worst part is, I can't even do anything to stop it. I'm always left to fend for myself even if no one will believe me. Why? Everyone already knows "I'm the bad guy".

Will you ever get tired of beating me up? Will you ever get tired of telling people how much of a bad person I am behind my back? WHEN WILL MY SILENCE EVER BE ENOUGH?

I know you were hurt.

But what about me? I've thrown my pride out the window just so you could mock me for the rest of my life. I put myself on the floor with all the dirt, just so you could step on me even more.

Yes, you have certainly changed. But you did have the choice to become a better person.

Remember that there's always two sides to one story.

Kung mangtsi-tsismis ka na lang din, alamin mo na parehas.